HO HO HO!

Almost the end of the year but not the end of this year’s novel. Yes, I reached the 50K mark by end of November but that isn’t the end of the story. Nope. Still at least three chapters to go before I can type “The End”. To make matters worse I decided it wasn’t working in first person so this morning I started converting it to third - which is like having nearly finished knitting a ski sweater when you decide you should have used another pattern entirely. Sure, I’m going to use the same yarn but I have to unravel the whole dang thing and start over. Ugggggh!

To make matters worse, here comes “the holidays”. Over the years I have made peace with the fact that I am not a sender of greeting cards or Christmas letters (I leave that to Mom who enjoys it). Our house is too small for a tree so I string lights on the house plants (see above), getting me to some extent off of the decorating juggernaught - plus I’m gluten intolerant which exempts me from the seasonal pressure to bake cookies and fruitcake. Since I’m retired and therefore poorer than Bob Cratchet’s pantry, shopping is a thing of Christmas past. And as a retired plant lady I wouldn’t let a poinsettia in my door if it came with a diamond necklace and a date with Brad Pitt. All in all I pretty much have a hall pass to skip the whole deck-the-halls rigamarole.

That being said, every time I turn on the tv this time of year I feel keenly how far I fall short of expectations. I try to spread cheer as best I can in my own way - stuff the red kettle with a fist full of ones, roast some meat, pour the Yellowtail, light candles and watch "It’s a Wonderful Life" with loved ones at least three times before New Years. It doesn’t measure up to the make-the-season-bright standard of excellence. It’s too little and pathetic and colorless and doesn’t have enough LED lights to qualify me for holiday hostess of 2009. So I’ll end this year knowing that I failed miserably yet again but vowing to do better next year. And since I hear the world will end in 2012 I have a few more tries to get it right. May you do better than I did - or have fun trying! Happy Holidays!

IT'S OFFICIAL!

Today is the last day of National Novel Writing Month. Yesterday I came over the 50K finish line a whole day early! Not that the story has wrapped up - still may have a chapter or two to write before I can type "The End" but it's a good feeling to be this close. Thanks NaNoWriMo! It was great fun.

This year's novel is a fantasy - nice departure from the mysteries I've written in the past. This year three of my friends participated which really inspired me to pour on the coal. Thanks MiKi, Kate, and Chris. Strangely all four of us wrote fantasies. Could that be a reflection of how attractive reality is right now??? We'll have to do this again next November.

So now what? Become rich and famous novelists of course. (Speaking of fantasy.)

SAMHAIN PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES

Happy Samhain, folks! Today I made a batch of peanut butter cookies to share at Senior Writers Workshop tomorrow.(Hope we don't have any allergies!)

This is the simplest cookie recipe I've ever discovered (Thanks go out to Jennifer of Symantec for this gem), plus it's GLUTEN FREE! Try it:

Mix 1 egg with 1 cup of sugar and 1 cup of peanut butter. Stir in some chocolate chips and/or nuts if you so desire. Mark the cookies with those cute little fork marks if you are feeling artistic. Bake at 350 degrees (for approx 7 minutes).

I know it sounds weird but that's it, the entire recipe. Truly! No, REALLY that's all there is to it. Seriously! No, I didn't forget anything. Honestly, would I trick you???

THE PLOT THICKENS

It's that time again - trees are coloring up, mornings are cooling down - time to start thinking about this November's NaNoWriMo novel! So I put my home improvement projects to one side until I've crossed the finish line on November 30th, my new 50,000 word novel set free upon an unsuspecting world. As excuses go it's as good as any to get me out of finishing the garage sort-out!

For the next few weeks I'll be trying out plot ideas and sketching possible characters. So far I have a 16 year old girl named Sylvia (Sylvie) Bee who, when her mom is sent off to prison leaving her daughter to the tender mercies of the foster care system, sets out to find a grandfather she's never met - a grandfather who has just completed a reunion tour with his geriatric rock band, a one-hit wonder from the early 70s that has recently been nominated for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Could produce some interesting conflicts and interactions. Especially when the band buys a decommissioned convent on the coast in which to retire - a convent that comes complete with three ancient nuns who may be more than they seem. What else could I throw into the mix? Hmmm. Will give it some thought. Have no idea where this will go but that's part of the fun. Visit the National Novel Writing Month site and cheer me on (search for Salt Cellar under "authors" - that's me!) NaNoWriMo

THE CASCADING NATURE OF RENOVATION

On the DIY and HG channels home renovations seem so focused, so straight forward and organized. Need a bathroom redo? Gather some samples, a construction crew, building materials and let the sledge hammers fly! From personal experience I can tell you that’s as close to the reality of home improvement as Iron Chef is to the fry baskets at Mickey D’s.

Also, there is no such thing as an isolated improvement project. My most recent foray into Home Depot Land started when Mom bought six fluffy white bath towels. They looked lovely hanging on their towel bars. So much so that I decided we needed matching hand towels and washcloths (Fred Meyer’s had a 20 percent off sale which didn’t hurt the motivation). I came home with an armload of terry and a cute new cabinet to hang above the toilet - which inspired me to weed out the shabbier items in the linen closet. Now, next to my nice neat linen closet and snowy white towels the bathroom looked grungy and dated. I started peeling wallpaper and thumbing through paint samples.

Weeks later the bathroom was freshly painted and lookin’ good - except for the ugly, cracked 60s lighting fixture over the medicine cabinet. This realization caused me to take a fresh look at the other lighting fixtures in the house (see previous post entitled “Let there be (porch) light”.) I bought a new porch light as well as a new light fixture for each of our three bedrooms. BUT there was a hitch in the bathroom lighting issue: the only electrical outlet in the room is part of the lighting fixture. If I replaced the lighting I would have no place to plug in a hair dryer. There are also no grounded outlets anywhere in the house, much less the bathroom. I started collecting estimates for running a new line into the bathroom (cannot afford to rewire the whole house though I’m terrified an electrician will take one look and decide I need a brand new breaker box - where is that Lotto ticket???).

But before that can be done I have to clean out the attic so that the electrician can access the area directly above the bathroom. And before I can do that I have to clean out the garage so that I have someplace to put the junk I haul out of the attic. Cleaning out the garage will entail sorting through two filing cabinets containing decades of dusty documents. It’s sure to take weeks to sort and shred that mess. Then there are all the tools to organize . . . and where do I put the deck furniture now that Fall is here?


And what of the kitchen? How can I possibly fix up the bathroom without addressing the totally out of date and unworkable kitchen? I haven’t an inch of counter space (note photo at left) and the cabinets need to be striped and repainted. And If I do that wouldn’t that be a good time to install a back splash? But since there are no grounded outlets . . . plus what of the horribly inadequate lighting? Oh no, here we go again.

THE PERSISTENT PURPLE POTATOES

They are back, this year wriggling up from beneath the fragrant thyme bushes like a purple and green hydra. I can never predict where they’re going to surface. Last year they emerged from behind the birdbath, the year before that it was smack dab in the center of the bean patch. They are sneaky, perhaps suspecting that if I knew where they had wintered I’d ruthlessly dig up every last scrap before they could weasel up from the soil in the spring.

Years ago a well-meaning friend presented me with a trio of grape-sized, grape-colored potatoes. Purple. What does one do with a purple potato, I wondered. Who had ever even heard of purple potatoes? My Irish ancestors cringed in their crypts. Potatoes were meant to be fat brown lovelies that turned into fluffy white mountains flowing with fresh creamery butter. But purple??!! Purple was for egg plant and the shoulders of turnips, for grapes and red cabbages, lilac flowers and summer shadows.

Unsure I wanted such a monstrosity in my vegetable garden, I buried the tiny nubbins in my compost heap. That was the beginning. Before I knew it they had sprouted out the top of the pile. I should have gone after them right then but I have to admit I was curious. What would they become? What would I do if they produced actual potatoes? So I let them sprawl all over the compost pile. By the end of summer they were covered with rather pretty mauve flowers. As winter neared I lifted the tired vines out of the heap. Hanging from the roots were dozens of gorgeous amethyst globes! Digging around in the compost, I unearthed a treasure trove - a bushel basket full. What had I gotten myself into?

I started experimenting. First disaster was when I boiled them too long and they totally disintegrated into an ugly grey soup. From that I learned that purples are more delicate and cook faster than white, yellow, or red potatoes - they don’t play well with others, needing to be boiled or sautéed separately. Gentry treated they turn an attractive blue - over do it and they lose all color and texture. Another thing, they don’t bake worth a darn so forget it. They also don’t have much in the way of flavor by themselves.

So are they worth it? You bet! I have since learned that these little sweeties pack quite a nutritional wallop - more so than their pallid cousins. They are chock full of super antioxidants, nummy vitamins and minerals. Plus they have the advantage of freaking out your guests - the “blue plate special” for sure! (I make a red, white, and blue potato salad for 4th of July.) My favorite recipe though is to simply sauté sliced purples with onion and garlic, then add them to steamed zucchini or green beans. Gorgeous as well as delicious! (Always nice to have something to do with the boatloads of zukes coming off this time of year too.)

And I might add that it’s a darn good thing I’ve come to love my weird purple potatoes because they, like vampires, are immortal. That first season I was under the mistaken impression that it was possible to dig every last potato from the compost and thus limit the adventure to one season. Did I mention the purples are sneaky? They are nearly impossible to see against dark soil so the moment I innocently spread the compost out over my garden I created a monster. Now, every spring they return. Of course I’m delighted to see them but where oh where will they show up next year??? I’ll let you know when I know.

LET THERE BE (PORCH) LIGHT!

Traveling through my second month of retirement to-do lists (yes, there's more than one) I've finished restaining the deck, painting the deck chairs, redecorating our bathroom, and a dozen lesser projects. Notable this week was installation of a brand new shiny front porch light to replace the scary, spider infested rust-lantern I've been cussing out for the last fifteen years - can't believe I suffered in semi-silence all that time! Given any amount of wet weather (note that in Seattle that's pretty much every week), moisture inevitably seeped into the socket, blowing the bulb like the climax of a New Years Eve fireworks display. Don't know how many dead light bulbs I contributed to the landfill but I'm wracked with guilt. Never mind, I shall sin no more in that regard.

Learned many things in the process of installing my pretty new porch light. At the top of the list: it's wonderful to have a tall son who can be coerced into assisting. Even with a step ladder I was still below the cascade of dessicated bug parts that came pouring out of the old fixture. Bluck, ptui. Another thing learned: it's wise to notify all the members of the household BEFORE you throw the circuit breakers! Mom thought she'd finally inflicted permanent damage to her computer. In addition, remember that it's a silly idea that all your fingernails need to be all the same length. And make sure that before you launch into a similar project you are current on your tetanus shots and you have a complete first aid kit. Have fun.